Pastry hates me

I was so close to not taking a photo of this and just pretending that the whole thing never happened, but the food blogger in me took over.

I'm trying to suppress the memories, but it was meant to be a freeform apple pie from the latest delicious. magazine. I even cheated and used some bought vanilla bean shortcrust pastry and still failed!!!

I can't seem to roll out pastry for the life of me. I try flouring the surface, I cover my rolling pin because the porous surface of the roller is like pastry velcro. I did not try to roll it out between two pieces of baking paper though, but I think I'm too scarred to try pastry again soon.

Anyway, the pastry stuck to every possible thing it could stick to. I couldn't get it round, so I threw a little tantrum and left it lopsidedly rectangular. Of course, this meant I couldn't get the top to match up with the bottom and it was terribly wonky. I didn't spread the apple inside out well enough, so the top quarter of the rectangle was pretty much just pastry.

To top it all off, as I was brushing it with its egg wash I managed to knock over my bowl, spilling egg all over the tart. I mopped it up as best I could with paper towels, but you can still see the baked egg on the bottom third.

The apple inside was fantastic and turned out well, it smelled amazing and I think I might try the filling again but stick it in some fillo. Less stress.